ma Vie

17′an kmrn kebetulan gw ikutan upacara di ktr gw. sebagai anak baru di ktr dan yg mempunyai bos2 yg sangat bersemangat utk ikutan upacara 17′an, malu donggg kalo gw skip ga ikutan upacara ini. Males sih sbnrnya, krn kan trakir gw ikutan upacara 17′an udah kapan tau..lama bangeeettt

selama 3 jam dlm hidup gw di tgl 17 agust 2008 kmrn, gw menemukan another ‘excitement’ dlm hidup gw. pagi2 itu gw brkt sendiri ke lapangan, nyetir sendiri, takjub sendiri demi melihat ternyata byk juga ya org2 yg niatan mau ikutan upacara, terlepas dr apapun alasan mrk utk ikut upacara ini.

di lapangan upacara, kebetulan gw baris di paling depan, jdnya gw bs dengan jelas melihat apa yg terjadi di upacara tsb smbl flash back ke masa2 gw jaman skolaan dulu yg mulai anti ikutan upacara semenjak SMA, pdhal wkt SMP gw plg semangat kl disuruh ikutan lomba upacara, jd petugas pengibar bendera, ato lomba baris berbaris. And u know what guys, what surprised me, tnyt slm kurleb 1 jam gw ikutan upacara, i can’t stand still even for 1 min !!!! hahahaa…ya goyang ke kiri kanan lah, nekuk2 kaki lah, nengok2 ke blakang, ngobrol sm temen disamping dan ngebahas (nyela) apa2 yg terjadi di depan sana, ngedumel krn hari udah mulai panas bgt tp kok ga kelar2…hahaha…

does age really change you ?

basically, gw cm pengen nulis ttg sesuatu yg selama ini telah bikin hidup lo cukup nyaman dan menyenangkan, lalu tiba2 hrs tercabut, terenggut dari kehidupan lo..tiba2 dlm jentikan jari, hal tsb ga akan pernah lo rasakan atau dapatkan lagi.

u go live with it..thats what i suppose i’d do…krn, selain itu..apa lg yg bisa elo lakuin ? menyesal tanpa henti kah ? bertanya2 knp elo hrs keluar scr paksa dari comfort zone elo kah ? ato memaksakan diri utk kembali mendptkan that comfort zone ?

u must go on with ur life, inside or outside ur comfort zone. Mungkin, kalo skrg comfort zone lo telah tercabut sedemikian rupa, why dont u just make urself a new comfort zone ? adjust urself, so another comfort zone will pop up before ur face ?

eniwei, d’u believe in saying that what is taken from u will come back to u in some other way ? what goes around comes around ?

i know it’ll be easy to say that. buat gw, gw akan take some of my time to feel sad, to grieve, that something is taken from me..esp if that is considered as one of my comfort zone. but if something happens for a reason, maybe it’d just be better to look for the reason, drpd  menangisi apa yg telah terjadi ?

*what the hell am i talking about ????*

maybe u’d wish that it would just go away, so u wont spend more time to think about it anymore…but when it remains there, and u feel that u cant do anything to get rid of it, then what would u do ? would u let it be there, hoping that time would burry it..or maybe u’d put it far inside ur mind, hoping that soon u’ll forget about it as u then have many ‘lets-make-it’ more important things to think about. or would u live with it, enjoy it and learn something from it…as people always say that things that happen in ur life, believe or not, have something to learn about.

oh well..thats life…u wont be alive if ur mind is empty… ;))

so live ur mind to its fullest ! hah !!

yup, you got it right, mate ! im joining the club 30 this year, last july to be precised.

30 is nothing but age. age is nothing but number. but as ur number gets more and more, doesnt it give u a creep feeling inside?

30 means ur leaving the era of the 20s. an era where you start glowing in ur life. an era where u’re young yet adult. an era where u are fully responsible for whatever ur doing. an era where everything is beaming at u.

oh well.. maybe im just making such a big deal of it. of leaving the era of the 20s. maybe im just too afraid of getting older. too afraid of having the ‘must thing’ to be more "behaved" than before.

anyway, this is just a thought…

it happened again !

baru kmrn gw ngomong ama temen gw, scr rashes di badan gw didiagnosis (sementara) o/ dokter klinik ktr sbg reaksi alergi, gw berandai2 sama si pintul kl penyakit gw bukan alergi..scr it doesnt sound ’serious’ (hekekekss…), itu pun bukan alasan kuat buat gw dpt sick leave, dan bobo2 siang di rmh…

eeee…besoknya, wkt gw balik lg ke klinik ktr, kali ini diagnosisnya adalah campak !! hh…puas ga sih lo? scr dokter lgs nyuruh gw pulang dan ngasi ijin SL buat 3 hr….scr jg gw lg byk kerjaan dan di ktr gada siapa2 (well..as if im in charge gituh..whakakksss…)

dan, emg penyakit gw bikin tambah badan gw makin berasa ga karu2an..pala pusing, leher sakit, persendian pegal2…

next day, dokter ktr nyuruh gw ke tht, scr kelenjar gw yg bengkak kok ga kempes, malah bertambah…kesanalah gw akirnya pergi, dgn diagnosis terakhir, infeksi amandel !

tnyt, dari satu organ tubuh yg kecil itu, sekalinya dia kena infeksi, efeknya bisa kemana2…ya persendian ngilu, kuping gw jd rada budeg, pusing, rashes…

so..sayangilah amandelmu and…b careful of what u wish for..!!

kl uda gini, dont u think that GOD loves u in HIS way ?

kt ini muncul dr temen gw, wkt gw curhat gw lebaran ini ga kemana2, di rmh saja, jd oshin bantuin nyokap ngurus rmh dan ngangon anak gw yg seorang tea. "geus wayahna" itu dari bhs sunda, artinya kurleb : emg begitu krn keadaannya demikian (bingung gw)…yah gitu deh, jd maksudnya gw bukan satu2nya ibu pekerja yg hrs ngambil cuti trs ketimpaan kerjaan RT yg setumpuk gada abis2nya di musim lebaran ini dimana asisten2 pd mudik…jd ya geus wayahna gw jd oshin u/ 1 bulan ini (yeap, asisten gw ijin mudik 1 bulan !!!)

mengutip sms temen gw yg satu lg (mamih gorila…), ktnya musim lebaran gini dimana asisten2 pada mudik, adalah sbnrnya momen yg ditunggu2 o/ anak2 kita, yg ibu2nya pekerja kantoran, krn pd saat inilah ibu2 pekerja ini meluangkan lbh byk wktnya u/  ngurus krucil2 itu….kl kt temen ktr gw, once u get thru the period w/o the nanny, u’ll bound more w/ ur daughter, just dont forget to take a break for urself for a day (mana biissaaaa ?????????).

bukan sulap bukan sihir, tp sptnya omongan temen2 gw itu ada benernya..yap gw ngrasa lbh "bound" dgn anak gw, scr dr dia melek ampe dia merem  lagi malem2, gw ada sama dia terus…nghabisin wkt yg 3 minggu ini full bareng dia, bikin hidup gw lbh hidup…yg gw jd tau perkembangan2 baru dia yg either bikin gw ketawa2 ato bikin gw naek darah..hakakksss..namanya jg anak kecil, what d’u expect gitu lohhh….shes gettin’ into ur nerves..tp yaaa…spt alinea pertama diatas, geus wayahna..namanya jg anak kecil, msh pengen tau sgalanya..ngebrantakin2 maenan tanpa peduli siapa yg ntr beresin..teriak2 sesukanya..msh egosentris se’egosentris2nya….ya gitu deh…

speaking of asisten, dulu bgt gw pernah punya PRT yg umurnya lbh muda bbrp thn dari gw…wkt itu gw msh SMA wkt dia kerja di rmh gw. anaknya manis, putih, bersih, dandanannya juga ga norce, ga kliatan deh kl dia tuh sbnrnya PRT. nah, temen2 gw yg cowo dulu tuh srg bgt maen ke rmh gw krn mrk demen ngeliatin PRT gw, smp dgn teganya mrk blg : li, PRT lo suruh ikutan gadsam deh, pasti  masuk nominasi…kl lo mah dont bother to try, dont even think bout it, apalg kl ikutannya bebarengan ama PRT lo, pasti bgt foto lo ga diliat !!!

ahahahahahhaa….

ok kids,
so yesterday we’ve learnt about how i’ve despised the situation that’s been around me for this while.
and i’ve received some comments from my dearest friends, and to be honest, from those short comments, i found that actually people still care about me.
u’ve been the main subject of their cheap-gossip, means that they’re still aware that u’re still exist and that they still pay attention to ur shape, hair etc.

so kids, maybe the best way is like what people who write a self-help book would say : dont sweat urself for small things..

ok, now.
lessons learned # 2.
an office is not a perfect place to get urself a close and good friendship.

thank you.

atttention everybody !!!!
read this posting carreefully as im about to announce something important !!!!!!

im fully aware that im now heavier than the last several months..lets say that im 2 kgs heavier than my previous average weight after giving birth of my 1st child…and that’d make me 7 kgs heavier than my weight on my wedding day !
hahahaha…

ok.
so, this is the, what, 4th or 5th time that someone asks me if im on my 2nd pregnancy !!! yes !!!! theres rumour out there, spreading around in the entire mission, saying that im PREGNANT !! *god please help!!*
its not a nice rumour to hear, though…but well..lets see the bright side of it…..is there any ? hahahaha…

anyway.
i said nothing to answer the last person who asked me bout that…i only told her that, well..lets see in 2 months, if im getting bulkier, then congratulation, u’ve heard the right news… :)))

anyway.
its friday, i’ve done something nice to my hair last night, and im hanging out with my gals tonight..
so,,,theres nothing could ruin this supposed-to-be-a-lovely friday, not even the pregnancy rumour !

thank you :)))

yup..itulah bbrp panggilan yg lazim diucapkan oleh orang kepada seseorg perempuan.

NENG — biasanya itu panggilan buat anak gadis..kalo kita abis naek becak ato naek angkot, trs ditagih gitu mana duitnya, pasti si abang bakal manggil kita NENG…dgn catatan kita msh pake seragam sekolah ato dari penampilan keliatan kita msh kuliah ato abege2 nanggung…

NON — biasanya itu panggilan buat anak majikan (mungkin terinspirasi oleh film2 benyamin jadul, dimana kalo almarhum sdg berperan jd supir ato tukang kebon, pasti dia akan manggil anak majikannya yg pere dgn sebutan NON)..lagi2 dgn catatan bahwa yg dipanggil NON itu masih anak gadis..blm nikah lah…

MBAK — ini panggilan yg sangat lazim dan sering diucapkan…stlh gw kuliah, biasanya abang2 mikrolet ato mbak2 yg jaga dept store kalo akan menyapa atau menawarkan sesuatu buat gw, mrk pasti manggil gw MBAK…

IBU — nah, panggilan ini dulu sering gw denger ditujukan buat nyokap gw, ato buat ibu2 laen lah yg pada saat gw lagi jalan2, mrk berniat u/ menyapa si ibu2 tea.

tapi masalahnya…stlh gw menikah dan terutama stlh gw nglahirin…panggilan IBU ini sering mampir ke diri gw…bukannya ga mau terima kenyataan kalo emang sejatinya gw adalah ibu2, tp kok ya bagi gw yg deep down masih merasa diri gw ini yg muda dan bergaya (ckakakaksss…), kynya gw merasa tuwiiirrr bgt kalo dipanggil ibu2..
okelah kalo gw dipanggil ibu wkt gw lg gandeng anak gw yg lucu itu ke rs, dimana keliatanlah status gw disitu adalah ibunya anak gw…tp kl gw lg jalan sendirian dgn dandanan yg gw yakin ga jauh bedalah sama anak2 muda jamsek…hiahahaha…kok ya ttp dipanggil IBU ya ??? hihihi..

ciyan…

mknya, gw suka giraannnggg bgt kl lagi pergi kesuatu tempat gitu, ada yg manggil gw MBAK !!! hahahahaha…

again; ciyan deh… :)))

..adalah ANAK gw dan keluarga gw !!!

dan perasaan itu makin hari makin besar aja…bahwa kalau gw kehilangan anak gw (amit2jabangbayi), mungkin i’ll go INSANE !
that she’s my precious little creature that i treasure in every mins of my life…that i just can’t imagine myself living without her..